I was just a mom, a daycare director, and a youth minister. If you asked me about myself, I would tell you about those things. I woke up to take care of others and went to sleep to be ready for the next day.
Yet I felt like I wasn’t enough.
I thought this is what made me worth something.
As time went on, I began to lose sense of the things I liked because serving became not only my passion. It was my identity.
I decided to quit working in the daycare I was working in because I wanted to open one myself. But, God had different plans than what I thought and that didn’t happen. His plan for me was to rest.
Does he know who I am? I can’t rest. There is no time for that anyway. What would people think? Lazy could not be my identity. I am Ms. Kellie.
So, as the result of that, I fell into a depression. I was no longer in charge of a daycare. Parents no longer looked up to me and thanked me for taking care of kids. The children no longer looked up to me asking what we were going to do that day.
Again, the Lord told me to rest.
Instead, I complained to my friends and felt worthless. Then the words came…
Resting is doing something. You are recharging. Your family is your ministry right now and so are you.
Wasn’t it selfish to focus only on my family? Isn’t taking care of my family bringing home a paycheck? I looked at myself as broken. I went from my identity being from what I did to what I didn’t do.
I decided to seek professional counseling because this Resting thing wasn’t working so well for me.
I learned I can bring glory to God just by being happy with my life and where God had me. God had me where I was. I didn’t fail. I was meant to be at home and I can see now why. I needed to start focusing on where my identity really was. Was it Mom? Was It Ms. Kellie? Was it Kellie?
Nope…none of the above.
I started looking in the Bible who God says I am…
I am helped by God. Hebrews 4:16
I have been made complete in Christ. Collisions 2:10
I am God’s workmanship. Ephesians 2:10
I have the mind of Christ. 1 Corinthians 2:16
I am tenderly loved by God. Jeremiah 31:3
I am Christ’s ambassador. 2 Corinthians 5:20
I am sanctified. Hebrews. 2:11
I am a child of God. John 1:12
(Referenced from Pricilla Shrirer)
(Read these scriptures: Here)
Slowly it began to sink in.
I used to think I was not being humble by accepting the words God said I am. It took time. It took patience. It took a lot of grace for myself and it still does. But slowly, I began to let it sink in. I am a child of God. I am who I am because of who He says that I am.
God created us in His image and we have failed Him. But God didn’t see failures; He saw His loves who needed a savior. He sent His son to die on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins. Therefore, we are sanctified by the power of the blood and therefore, our Identity is in Salvation.
A light bulb went off in my head! How could I miss this? I spent my childhood in church. How could I not connect the dots?
I am a child of God.
I am free because of the salvation of Christ.
That’s all that mattered!
The only thing that began to matter more was that everybody understood that you too have value and your identity is in Christ.
You are not forsaken.
You are not a failure.
You are not what you do because there is nothing that we can do that can save us other than the grace of God. We don’t deserve any of it…yet we are who we are because of whom He is. In that, find peace. Lay down your guilt at His feet.
I spent the first 42 years of my life listening to my fears which were built on what I saw in the mirror growing up. I had pimples covering my face. I thought I was fat. And my hair was in knots.
I worried about representing myself perfectly and backed down from people with stronger personalities than mine. I learned that my introverted voice did not matter. Yet, deep down, there was a small voice inside saying that’s not true. That’s not who I created you to be. It’s way beyond looks. He doesn’t look at your imperfections because that is not who you are. Society will tell you it is. But you are valued because you are created in the image of God and Christ died for you.
I’ll even dare to say that this is true whether you accept it or not. To those who turn their backs on Christ…He still loves you. It’s up to us to adjust our outlook and take on the heart of God.
I pray you will look in the mirror and see yourself as God sees you. That is so hard to do. We look for just a moment and turn away. We see our flaws. I am telling you now, yes we are human and we have sin…but we are not our sin…that is not our identity.
You are the light of God.
You are His delight.
You are justified.
You are Love because God is Love.
Ask God for the strength to accept yourself as He sees you. It is not the same as pride because it’s not about boasting. It’s about loving you so that you can be an even better ambassador for Christ. Walk in His steps with your head up high because your identity is in the salvation of Christ.
Kellie has been married for 16 years to her husband, Kevin. Together they have three children and she has a step-son (who lives with his mom). They have moved around the country many times and are finally growing their roots in their small town.
Kellie’s faith in God is extremely important to her. She has been through many mountains and valleys and the Lord has gotten her through. She loves to ride her bike, write, watch movies, and is very involved in her children’s lives. Being a Mom is her favorite role in life. She values her faith, family, love, and friendships.