Unlike many of my friends, I was a late adopter of social media. While I was using LinkedIn for my career, personal accounts seemed invasive, time consuming, and annoying. Wanting to maintain better contact with other members of my son’s homeschool community led to me ultimately, grudgingly joining Facebook. I later added Instagram and others, as they were the preferred social media of some of my closest loved ones.
I was a little surprised when I liked social media more than expected. There were positive aspects as far as being able to keep in touch with family and friends and reaching many people at once. I felt more connected to loved ones that lived far away. And as an introvert who struggles to be heard, it gave me a way to share without watching someone disregard or interrupt me; if they didn’t fully receive what I shared, I was none the wiser.
However, it was no surprise when social media fulfilled my expectations as far as being somewhat annoying and time-consuming. Unfortunately, it became darker than that. I started seeing what other people were doing, and I would feel jealous that they were traveling to cool destinations I will likely never visit. Other times I felt left out of what my friends were doing. There were times I would feel competitive like I had to out-parent my friends to be a good mom. Sometimes I felt like I had to prove that I was interesting or worthwhile by documenting my life. If my posts were light on likes and comments, I would start to feel slighted. I was placing too much of my self-worth in my social media accounts.
Four years later, I recognized the need for change and challenged myself with a social media fast. This is not to be confused with biblical fasting; fasting in the Bible always relates to food. However, social media can be an enormous distraction that keeps our eyes from focusing on Christ. I talked to my pastor about this decision, and he encouraged me in the pursuit. I determined that I would stay off social media for 40 days and evaluate the experience at the end.
When I first began my social media fast, I didn’t tell anyone else in case I failed. I simply signed out of my accounts and put the apps to sleep. Initially, it was shocking how often I would idly reach for my phone and tap Facebook or one of the other apps. Breaking the habit required several days of training myself to not use the apps. As my phone usage diminished, I had more time for other things. I was able to spend better quality time on things that mattered, pursue my hobbies more wholeheartedly, help teach Vacation Bible School, acquire a new job, and take a trip of my own with my sister and niece and nephew.
During this time, I also gained a few new perspectives on social media. The first was that most social media users are giving us the highlight reel. In fact, some people are very skilled at perfecting their online image and making sure their photos and memories are staged and presented most favorably. People give you access to snippets of their lives that help you understand exactly what they want you to understand about them. But in the same way that you need to see a whole movie instead of the trailer to fully experience it, you need to spend quality time with people, instead of their accounts, to truly know them. Judgments made and conclusions drawn that are based solely on social media will be inaccurate or incomplete.
Secondly, it is impossible to please everyone. Even with the best of intentions when posting, besides the people who respond kindly, there will be those who will always find something to complain about. Some people live to argue and disagree with whatever you have shared. Their negativity reflects them, not you.
Third, and most importantly, your self-worth is not in your social media activity nor people’s responses to it. Social media often elicits a superficial response. 1 Samuel 16:7 tells us, “…for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” While man will form opinions on what he sees externally, the Lord is concerned with the state of our hearts. And the valuation of man is far less than the valuation of our Father, who sent Christ to die for us and give us His righteousness. As Romans 5:8 tells us, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” There is no comparison between the worth men place on each other and the worth God places on each of us and the love He so richly pours out on us. Ephesians 2:4-7 explains, “But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.”
At the end of my social media fast, I considered if I should deactivate my accounts or continue to use them. I decided to open my apps, and not much had changed. I hadn’t missed out, and I don’t think anyone missed my social media presence. I realized that I was content with that and also felt that I could resume usage with a new and proper perspective. When we know to Whom we belong and how much He loves and values us, we can purpose to only utilize social media in ways that are healthy for us and glorifying to Him.
Jeanne-Marie Witmer
Jeanne-Marie Witmer, Daughter of the King, is a wife and a mother to a teenage son. She wants to encourage women to have meaningful relationships by first having a meaningful relationship with Jesus. Jeanne-Marie understands the transformative work of Christ when we repent and submit to Him so that He can work in our lives. She would like to share what she's learned to help other women find hope and healing in Christ, and she prays that her written words glorify God. When not busy homeschooling, spending time with family and friends, or writing; Jeanne-Marie enjoys photography and many crafts and hobbies.
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