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It’s because of God’s great love for us that we are here. He constantly pursues us even when we are unlovable. Once He gets our attention and we allow Him to work in our lives (remember we have our own free will – it’s a choice we make) and invite Him in – We are NEVER the same.

When I was seventeen years old, I became a Christian. Three months later, I married the love of my life. A year later, I became pregnant with our first son. Years went by and we had two more sons. Life was great.

Things began to happen. A little bit of wine became lots of wine. Watching things we shouldn’t have been watching became a habit. We thought, “Other Christians do the same things.”

NO, they don’t! Or they shouldn’t.

Subtle little lies crept into our lives. Life wasn’t the same. The path we took was the wrong one. Our marriage was about to fall apart.

The pain and hurt was too much for me. Good meaning people would say to me, “Time heals all
wounds” OR “I know just what you are going through.”

I would sit there thinking how stupid the statement was coming from someone that really did not have a clue. I never said anything. I offered grace. They meant well.

And by the way, time does not heal ALL wounds! But God and forgiveness do.

So, life went on… My sons were now teens and adults. I found myself saying, “What is wrong with me? I have God and awesome sons. My husband didn’t leave me. WHAT could possibly be wrong?”

Someone said to me…

Person: “Oh Honey, you have a God-shaped hole in your heart.”

Me, thinking in my head: “OK…Well, what does that mean?”

A God-shaped hole in my heart? Anybody??? I just wanted to say, (insert sarcasm here) “Oh, bless your heart. Thank you for that!”

I started making more wrong choices. More drinking among other things. I was a total mess!

Thank God for my three sons and their wives and my loving husband! My family could have thrown me away, but instead, they loved me through it. This is the love my family gave me…

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:6-7

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

And even more important than my family’s love, God never stopped pursuing me! I felt His gentle nudges. I just didn’t pay attention. I felt His presence with me when I was in those low times in all the pain of asking and begging for the pain to go away, “Please God!!!”

When sin has its grip on us, we think we are good, because we can’t see past the lie. This is the kind of lie that will eventually destroy you if you don’t listen to the gentle nudges from HIM. Sin feels right in the moment…

Proverbs 14:12 There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end, it leads to death.

When we believe the lies, sin doesn’t look so bad. But when the God of All, pursues you, He is relentless and doesn’t give up.

That was my God-shaped hole in my heart.

Instead of running FROM Him, all I had to do was run TO Him. That’s all we have to do! I know this seems simple enough, right?

Well, yes and no.

Yes, I had a hole in me the size of the Grand Canyon and I needed God’s love to fill it. I never thought I was in the wrong. I deserved everything I was doing or so I thought.

Yes, I was under the influence for so long, I couldn’t think straight. When we quiet our minds, come away from the drugs, alcohol, sex, porn – WOW! What a revelation! Clear mind! Clear thoughts!

Could it be that my mind was all fogged up from the alcohol? YES, exactly! I finally had crystal clear thoughts.

Remember that whatever has you stuck – there is FREEDOM!!!

You can hear and feel God’s gentle nudges, the calm in the storm. Feel Him say, “I love you. I’ve always loved you. You are mine.”

No, it isn’t easy. Forgiveness isn’t easy. It took a while. Once I did, I never felt FREER in my life!

I had to forgive two people – both committed horrible acts against me. But Jesus gently reminded me, that I’ve done the same. If Jesus can forgive ALL that I’ve done, how can I not forgive them?
Talk about an


I genuinely love that person. I still cannot comprehend why. Only God!

An encounter with Jesus changes everything, including our hearts.

Keep your heart and mind open to what He is saying to you.

Once I recognized all of those little nudges around me, my life wasn’t the same. I no longer run around trying to fill that “God-shaped hole.” It’s being refilled daily.

I repented. I forgave others. I seek Him daily. And ask Him for help. You cannot do life without Him. I found a church family and I stay connected to godly people!

The Connection is a good place to start!

Jesus didn’t EVER say life was going to be easy, but that He would be with us. He is ALL you need for your life to never be the same!

By the way… Change doesn’t happen overnight. When we start allowing Jesus to work, you will never be the same. You won’t be perfect. We’ll always be a work in progress.

Trust in God with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

Jesus is calling all of us. Listen for His voice. He doesn’t want any of us to perish.

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life John 3:16

Thank you, Jesus, for loving us so much. You never stop pursuing us – giving us a way out of our own demise.


Deb Cool


Deb Cool is passionate about Jesus and women’s ministry. She currently leads a women’s small group through her church, LCBC Waynesboro.

Deb has been married for 42 years to the love of her life, Rodney. They have awesome sons whom have beautiful wives. And they are blessed with eight amazing grandchildren.

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