The Art of Lamentation

Some moments in our lives are filled with inexpressible joy. Other moments are filled with overwhelming grief.

We know that praise and thanksgiving are the avenues we have to express joy. Did you know God has given us an avenue to express grief and anguish? It's called lamentation. This word comes from a Latin noun that means "a wailing, a moaning, a weeping." We have an entire book in the Bible called Lamentations, and many of the Psalms follow a lament pattern.

What exactly is lamenting, and how is it expressed?

Lamenting is biblical. As Christians, we are sometimes tempted to think we must always be examples of hope and proclamations of joy. I have heard Christians say that we have the full power of God and that we should only speak words that claim the good we want to happen. Questioning and doubt are sometimes seen as enemies of God's goodness. There is a sense in which this is true, but it is not the full picture. We live in a fallen world.

Humanity has been redeemed and restored through the cross. But Jesus tells us in John 14 that he goes to prepare a place for us. The book of Revelation proclaims a new heaven and a new earth. Our world here will pass away. In this fallen world, we have moments where God seems far away. Even the faithful and righteous feel this sting at times. Jesus himself felt this way as the full weight of our sin pressed into Him.

“My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me.” And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will” (Matthew 26:38-39).

In these words, Jesus lamented. Did this expression from Jesus convey doubt or a lack of faith? No! His words left room for God's will. Jesus, in His human body, did not want the trial that was coming. How could He look forward to the excruciating pain and humiliation? This questioning was a perfectly human response. He voiced these words to God. Maybe His human nature allowed Him to question the plan. Maybe He voiced these words for our edification only. I don't know. But it does not matter. He said the words. And from this, I learn a bit about being real with God.

You see, I have doubts. I have questions. I used to hold them in and try to deny them. But that became a poison that grew bitterness. If we deny our frailty, if we refuse to humble ourselves and be real with God, then there is a present and very real danger of growing in bitterness and distance between our spirit and His. This is because it is not authentic. It is a type of pretending. God is not concerned with the pretense of who we are. He is concerned with the reality of who we are.

Another, more poignant, example of Jesus modeling lamentation for us is found on the cross. At the moment when the full weight and cost of our sin encompassed Christ, He lamented. He quoted words from Psalm 22, which were written by a human hundreds of years earlier when He "cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” that is, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”"(Matthew 27:46). Did God’s being change? No. He was still good, faithful, and holy. Did the reality of God's creation change? No. He was still present and pursuing a relationship with us. But when Jesus was buried fully in our humanity and brokenness, He voiced these words. Whether God had indeed pulled away from Jesus to let Him stand in our place or whether Jesus simply lost the ability to see God in this moment is not something we have been told in scripture. Either way, since we do know Jesus was without sin, we know that these words do not express a loss or lack of faith.

Even without seeing and feeling the presence of God, He spoke to God. He cried out to God. This type of crying out, this type of questioning, IS an expression of faith. There is no danger of doubt in these moments stopping God from enacting His will. Despite this apparent doubt-filled expression, God still raised Jesus three days later as He said He would. These two examples show us that lamenting is a very real and authentic conversation with God; a conversation we should pursue.  

How do we lament? If we study the patterns of the Psalms, we can see a formula of sorts.

1. We turn to God. We address Him and speak His name. I like to choose a Hebrew name of God that fits my situation, like El Roi when I want to remind myself that God sees me, or Jehovah Jireh when I need to be reminded that the Lord will provide.
2. We cry out to God. We voice the anguish and the questions and the frustrations we feel at the center of our being. We do not need to fear the ugliness or rawness of these things. God already knows them. He sees them more fully than we see them ourselves. We speak them out loud to God for our benefit. We need to dump them out of our minds to make room for the next parts of lamentation.
3. We ask God to intervene and intercede. We voice our desires and hopes, and we ask God to answer. At this point, after we have poured out the anguish and our desires, we can finally move on to the end goal of lamentation.
4. We express trust and praise. Have you noticed how many Psalms naturally move into praise immediately following cries like, "How long O Lord?" After being that real and honest with God, praise and trust flow out effortlessly. The Holy Spirit meets us in those moments to remind us of the goodness and faithfulness of God.

Lamentation is an art. It is biblical. It is necessary for a relationship with our Lord. He knows the thoughts we fear to speak. When we speak them, we honor Him. We open ourselves up to Him in an authentic and humble way, and we invite Him into our innermost being. And then, like David, our ugly thoughts turn to beautiful praise.

Crying out to God is an act of unquestionable belief and trust. 

*** If you are in a season of lamentation, remember that God often ministers to us through His people. At The Connection, there are many ways to connect with others to find support and encouragement. Check out our upcoming events, and consider joining us for our next round of mentoring.

Julie Malecki

Julie Malecki lives with her husband, two kids who have recently become adults, a cat, and a dog in a house with more bookshelves than closets. As of June 2023, she is officially retired from her long-time vocation as a home school mom but still has a heart to encourage and breathe life into the Christian community at large. She is a graduate of the Circe Apprenticeship and received her certificate as a Master Classical Teacher. She is passionate about Classical Education, great books, insightful authors, enduring words, and seeing God’s fingerprint on the cosmos (the well-ordered whole of reality).