Voices In My Head

I don’t know about you but there are a few things going on up in here. I want to personally share with you some of the voices that have been playing in my head recently, especially when prepping for these devotions. I feel like the enemy is working double time on my thoughts trying to manipulate and deter me from sharing what God has laid on my heart to share with you tonight.  If you feel comfortable, I want you to raise your hand or give me a sister nod/wink or something that tells me you feel me.

I am not enough

I am not loved

I am not cared for

I am not smart

I am not qualified

I can’t do anything right

I’ll never change

I can’t do this

I am a quitter

Why do I fall into the downward spiral of believing these voices? The voices of lies and negativity. Strongholds that I over and over again keep allowing to hold me in bondage. I need to keep giving them to God. Allowing Him to work through me. Have His way in my life, His will. His voice should be louder than anyone else’s voice in my head. I will take for example one of the lies such as I am not loved. I will soak in the presence of Gods truth about that for a couple days or you know until it feels good and I start believing it but then once that euphoric state is reached I stop soaking. Why? Sin. I’m trying to do it without God and that’s impossible. Or with God, but only until I can take it over myself. That’s some harsh truth right there. My need was met and now I don’t need Him.

Sin. Cue in enemy. I’m at my vulnerable state. Now he can take that truth and he can manipulate a question mark at the end of it. Am I loved? I start to think and go down that rabbit hole and those voices start to fly around again and I soak in that filth for a few days. And it typically goes downhill fast from there. Gods is refining me. I am learning I must not only retrain those voices and the knowledge of truths in my head, but I must also maintain them daily by spending time with God.

Lately, I have been resting in the confidence of knowing I am loved I know that if at any time there is a promise of God in my head with a question mark at the end of it instead of an exclamation point…. there’s a problem. I am loved? Problem. I am loved! Much better. Now you’re catching on. The enemy cannot take away Gods promises to us girls! You are His. His child. An heir to the kingdom. As 1 Peter 5:8-9 says…the enemy prowls around just looking for His opportunity-we must stand firm and be ready for it! We may not be able to physically outfight the enemy-but we can out truth him. How do we out truth him (the enemy)? We need to be aware on how to recognize or filter out what is a lie from what is truth. The record that is playing over and over in your head.

You know I have shared this with a few on my close friends, but I have this sort of alter ego person in my head. She’s not really an alter ego like another person, I mean she’s me just dressed up like a warrior princess. I call her “The warrior princess”. OOO ahhh right?! When I feel like I am taking punches and the devil is pulling out all his tricks of manipulation and twists and riddles and juggling acts I have to purposefully beacon her to rise up inside me. Time to armor up! Suit up for battle. Ephesians 6:10-18, the Armor of God. Girls-put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. I envision myself as a warrior princess. Running with my sword and shield out, whipping things out of thin air with my long braided pony tail – eye on the prize-on the end game-on the purpose-on my mission-on Christ. Deflecting and blocking off any evil or negative thought that is trying to distract me from my purpose on earth. There I go thinking it’s MY purpose on earth. See how easy it is for our thoughts to be twisted? Distracting me from the purpose GOD has put me on this earth for AND the only way I am going to fulfill that purpose?? Eyes must be on Jesus. Remove those blinders. Focus. Know Gods truth. Align up the lies and arguments that you have with your own self with the word of God. Hold those thoughts captive, place them at the foot of the cross and walk away. Soak in the love of Christ and His promises to you as a child of His.

As silly as it may sound when I get buried down so deep under all the filth in which the enemy has played me like a fiddle in my head I have to physically and literally call the enemy out on it. Typically when my husband or the neighbors aren’t home or I sit in my car at my house and yell it out! Scream him out. Oh, when God’s girl gets up, gets angry and in the name of Jesus casts out that little man running around inside her head causing all kinds of trouble you bet he is gonna run! He is scared! Your words are so incredibly powerful ladies. In James 4:7 it says “when we submit ourselves to God and resist the devil he will flee from you.” HE WILL FLEE FROM YOU.  THAT IS A PROMISE!  And not only has God given us the power in our words to rebuke the enemy but as “women warriors of God” he has given us this power to build each other up-just like those stickers in your hands-and we need to be doing a lot more of that also, but that’s a whole other devotion.

There are literally thousands of promises God makes to his children in the Bible. Thousands. A few big ones that I stand hard on and lean on so often are:

1. God loves me unconditionally- Romans 8:38-39
2. I am redeemed, made new and have an eternal home in heaven- John 3:16
3. God formed me with intentions, with purpose and He knows every detail about me. There’s nothing that surprises Him about me- Psalm 139
4. Gods plan for my life is to prosper me- to grow me- not to harm me- Jeremiah 29:11
5. I have this superior strength available to me through faith, I have the power of Christ- Philippians 4:13
6. I am forgiven and made new. 2 Corinthians 5:17 I no longer have to keep putting that record on replay. God has made me new that moment, that second I chose to give my life to Him.

I want to encourage you while you are reading through your Bible when you come across a promise to highlight it, underline, flag it or if you like to journal or take notes while you read to jot them down. Have them close to you as quick reference. Even post the ones that are sensitive to you, ones that you are vulnerable to around your house. In your car. At work. Your phone wall paper. All the places you look throughout the day. You will start to notice that when you start saturating your mind with positive, healthy truths; the lies and the negative chatter in your head becomes a lot quieter. And maybe you’re like me and some things you will have to physically with your hand turn down. Lie to myself: you are weak, not good enough and unworthy of everything you have-turn in down…… Turn up the truth: I am clothed with strength and dignity! Proverbs 31:25.

Heather and her husband live in Smithsburg MD. They attend Lifehouse church and are active at the local YMCA. Heather is a photographer, coffee lover and fitness momma with 3 babies. She is thankful to be a stay at home Mom and is passionate about women’s ministry and the opportunities and gifts God has placed in her life and on her heart.